{"id":40,"date":"2013-03-11T22:22:51","date_gmt":"2013-03-12T05:22:51","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/onedesiretogrow.wordpress.com\/?p=40"},"modified":"2013-03-11T22:22:51","modified_gmt":"2013-03-12T05:22:51","slug":"four-years-experience","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.onedesiretogrow.com\/?p=40","title":{"rendered":"Four Years\u2019 Experience"},"content":{"rendered":"

Before I got pregnant, I told all my girlfriends (most without kids at that time) that \u201cmy kids will have to fit into my life and do what I do, not the other way around\u201d.\u00a0 I was adamant that I wouldn\u2019t become one of those mothers that totally changes and makes her life all about her kids.\u00a0 Well, once again I\u2019ve learned that you NEVER KNOW what to expect from life.<\/p>\n

My kids are my life.\u00a0 ALMOST everything I do every day, from the moment I wake up til the moment I go to bed is for them.\u00a0 I don\u2019t resent that fact now, I embrace it.<\/p>\n

Growing up I never really had a calling.\u00a0 I had interests, but no passions.\u00a0 Entering college I had no major, and really no clue what I wanted to be when I grew up.\u00a0 I carried on this way until January 12, 2009.<\/p>\n

\"jaydenlarge\"<\/a>

Jayden, first day of life<\/p><\/div>\n

\"claudialarge\"<\/a>

Claudia, first day of life<\/p><\/div>\n

The moment I held my two babies on my chest while my stomach was sewn up was the moment that my purpose in life began.\u00a0 The deal was further sealed on April 23, 2011 when my third baby was born.<\/p>\n

\"elliette,<\/a>

elliette, first day of life<\/p><\/div>\n

Balancing life with kids is incredibly difficult.\u00a0 You have to take care of three people who don\u2019t know how to care for themselves, you have to feed them, entertain them, teach them, clean up their huge messes, wipe their bottoms and wash their faces.\u00a0 When the day is through, you\u2019re exhausted.\u00a0 There\u2019s no time left for yourself, or your husband for that matter.\u00a0 It\u2019s so easy to lose yourself, and then there is the fear.\u00a0 Fear that you\u2019re not going to have any sense of self soon, fear that when the kids grow up you\u2019ll be lost.\u00a0 Fear that you are growing apart from your husband.\u00a0 Fear that your friends only view you as a Mommy and not as a productive member of society.\u00a0 Lots of fear.<\/p>\n

Add to that fear all of the pressure to be a perfect Mommy.\u00a0 There are so many reminders in social media that you’re inadequate.\u00a0 You shouldn’t yell, you shouldn’t punish, it goes on and on.\u00a0 It’s impossible not to make mistakes, and you feel guilty for those mistakes.\u00a0 This is my job, I want to be the best at it!\u00a0 It all takes a toll on your sanity.<\/p>\n

I haven\u2019t had time to write music in four years. \u00a0Lately I\u2019ve had a title stuck in my head and have been waiting for the time to write the rest.\u00a0 The title is \u201cYou\u2019re Bigger Than Me\u201d.<\/p>\n

My kids are bigger than me.\u00a0 When you give in to that concept then it\u2019s easier to let go of the ego and importance of wondering what people think of you.\u00a0 The decisions that I make in my life now are first and foremost about their well-being.\u00a0 As we plan our move to another city, I remember it\u2019s for them.\u00a0 One day my children will be smarter than me, more compassionate than me, healthier than me, and even BIGGER than me.\u00a0 I want to be the catalyst.\u00a0 I want to be one of the reasons they become what they become.<\/p>\n

I still get to be with my girlfriends, I have date night, I get to have adventures without children, and I get to have a little bit of time to work on me every once in a while.\u00a0 One day I\u2019ll have more time, and thinking of that makes me sad because it will mean my babies are grown.<\/p>\n

The past four years have been BY FAR the most important of my entire life.\u00a0 I\u2019m so grateful for this experience.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Before I got pregnant, I told all my girlfriends (most without kids at that time) that \u201cmy kids will have to fit into my life and do what I do, not the other way around\u201d.\u00a0 I was adamant that I wouldn\u2019t become one of those mothers that totally changes and makes her life all about […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-40","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.onedesiretogrow.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/40","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.onedesiretogrow.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.onedesiretogrow.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.onedesiretogrow.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.onedesiretogrow.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=40"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.onedesiretogrow.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/40\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.onedesiretogrow.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=40"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.onedesiretogrow.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=40"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.onedesiretogrow.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=40"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}